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+You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
+Your back goes out more than you do.
+You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
+You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
+You are proud of your lawn mower.
+Your best friend is dating someone half their age and isn't breaking any laws.
+Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
+You sing along with the elevator music.
+You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
+You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
+You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
+You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
+Neighbors borrow your tools.
+People call at 9pm and ask, "Did I wake you?".
+You answer a question with, "because I said so!".
+You send money to PBS.
+The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
+You take a metal detector to the beach.
+You know what the word "equity" means.
+You can't remember that last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
+Your ears are hairier than your head.
+You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
+You got the cable for the weather channel.
+You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
In youth we learn;
in age we understand.
~Marie Ebner-Eschenbach
Signs That You're No Longer A Kid
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Some people consider the $1 bill unlucky because there are so many 13's on it: 13 stars, 13 stripes, 13 steps, 13 arrows and even an olive branch with 13 leaves on it. Of course the $1 bill is unlucky - if it was lucky it would be a $100 bill.
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