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An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man.  When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset.  "What happened, Mother?" the daughter asked.

"I had to slap his face three times!"

"You mean he got fresh?"

"No," she answered, "I thought he was dead." 

You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them. 
~Arnold Palmer
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Date Slap
The plastic thing on the end of a shoe lace is called "aglets"

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