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7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives a rip. Meanwhile, frolic around one day in some stupid outfit in February with a lousy bow and arrow and all of a sudden you're a hero.
6. Company health plan doesn't cover tattoo removal.
5. The EPA's new relaxed reindeer-emissions standards.
4. Icy cold North Pole temperature makes it hard to produce quality workmanship.
3. Reindeer game #12: Elf lacrosse.
2. Constantly ridiculed for that 0-854 record in the North Pole basketball league.
1. Jolly Ole Santa has never yet brought back a single cookie to share.
And is it true? And is it true,
This most tremendous tale of all,
Seen in a stained-glass window's hue,
A Baby in an in ox's stall?
The Maker of the stars and sea
Became a Child on earth for me?
Sir John Betjeman, 1954
Elf Pet Peeves
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The Queen's Christmas speech was televised for the first time in 1957.
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