1. If no-one sees you eat something, it has no calories;
2. When drinking a diet coke with a chocolate bar, the fat in the chocolate bar is cancelled out by the diet coke;
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do;
4. Food used for medical purposes does NOT count (for example: hot chocolate, cheesecake and vodka);
5. If you fatten up the people around you, you will look thinner.
6. Movie theatre foods have a zero calorie count as they are part of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake;
7. Cookie pieces have no calories because breaking the cookies up causes calorie leakage;
8. Food licked from knives and spoons have no fat if you are in the process of cooking something;
9. Food that are the same color have the same fat content: examples are: spinach and peppermint ice-cream; apples and red M&Ms;
10.Chocolate is like a food color wildcard and may be substituted for any other color;
11.Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity and the density of the calorie mass;
12.Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it rightfully belongs to the other person and will cling to him/her;
A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit.
~Author Unknown
Canola oil is actually rapeseed oil but the name was changed in Canada for marketing reasons.
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