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John was visiting a friend in the hospital. He had recently quit smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator. A woman on the elevator said to him with a snarl, "Sir! There's no smoking in here!"
'I'm not smoking lady," replied John.
"But you have a cigar in your mouth!" the woman said.
"Lady," John answered, "I've got on Jockey shorts, too, but I'm not riding a horse!"
"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood."
Madame Marie Curie
No Smoking
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An employee of the Alabama Department of Transportation installed spyware on his boss's computer and proved that the boss spent 10% of his time working (20% of time checking stocks and 70% of the time playing solitaire). The employee was fired, the boss kept his job.
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